I want to start off by setting the scene a little bit.
There’s a girl that I’ve been friends with for a while. Any time she has had problems with her boyfriend she would come to me for help. Her boyfriend just went on a trip to Peru for school and she believes that he has cheated on her. On facebook he forgot to close a chat conversation with his friend that says he’s going to be in big trouble when he gets home because he made a mistake, and his friend asked for at least the girl’s name, and the boyfriend provided some peruvian name.
Idk, I’m pretty good with talking to girls and giving love advice in general and that’s what it started out as. She asked me to pinky swear (lol) that I would help her through this. He is still in Peru, and her and I hang out frequently. When we do, we get really close, we hug, watch the stars on the roof of my car, I play with her hair/stomach/ears, we lick each other for laughs hahah, cuddle, swap gum without using hands (some lip touching involved), but I make sure that we don’t do anything “official” like kissing or go beyond that.
My question is this: What do I do? The first night we hung out, I felt really good, just cause it seemed like she liked me. She made it apparent that she wasn’t doing this to get back at her boyfriend and that, in her mind, they were pretty much over. BUT, her boyfriend and I are pretty good friends, and I love the dude – he’s my homie. Now, after a couple more nights have past I feel really bad, like I’m doing something wrong. I wouldn’t date this girl, because she’s emotionally unstable.. but she’s cute and perrtty, and in these moments my emotions are flaring (obviously). If her “boyfriend” wasn’t in the picture, I would have kissed her by now and seen where that would’ve gone.
So.. I won’t date this girl and I feel bad for doing what I’m doing now because I’m friends with her “boyfriend” – I have no reason for getting close to her except for the fact that it feels good, I’m slightly attracted to her, and he’s a cool girl. She also told one of my friends that if she hadn’t met her boyfriend, she would consider dating me. eeek :\ I talked to her about this and she said she doesn’t regret what we’re doing and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it.. but I do.
What do I do? I feel like an ***, but I also enjoy the closeness and the emotional high.. but I guess who wouldn’t?
Two quotes have been resonating throughout these past few days.
“To deny our instincts is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” – The Matrix
“I can resist anything but temptation” – Oscar Wilde
That’s such an apathetic, hands-off point of view though with complete disregard for your actions. BAH.
BLESS YOU if you were able to read through this entire thing, lol.