ρεгƒεсτ asked:
Ok so my dad just recently came home from Peru like recently like 5 minutes ago he saw i got a dye and he asked me “Are you man or are you a *****?” I said i was a man, but I knew I should’ve said *****. Now he’s mad at em calling me queer, and a woman, and before my mom called me a woman before, I’m worried that they won’t love me when I do come out. What should I do?
Stay in.
go out.
Whatever…it does not make you who you really are.
thats there hangup not yours, you are who you are either they accept it or they dont.
Sounds like they’re catching on… you could let this simmer down a little so they can think it out on their own time, and in the near future tell them. Since you gave them enough time to think things through it might not be that big. Of course I don’t know your family like you do…this is just simply a suggestion.
based on what you’re saying it seems like they already know. it will be difficult at first but soon they will have no choice but to except the life you are choosing to live
I’m sorry. And there’s no reason you should use a **** word to refer to yourself.
Next time, tell him that that word is hurtful. I don’t know how old you are, but you probably should wait until you are older and out of their house before you come out completely. Just try to put up with it as much as you can, and keep in mind that once you are an adult you are free to live your own life.
But I am sorry that he hurt your feelings. (((hugs)))
There’s not much you can do about their attitude, but to the extent that you need them for food, clothing and shelter, play their game and act like whatever they want you to be, within reason. I take it these are “old world” parents with a thousand years of myths and misunderstandings to unravel. One of the myths is that you can force someone to be straight by shaming them into it, although that path more leads to tragic results.
It’s best not to come out to them until you have a place of your own to retreat to while they process the information and eventually cool off (if they do).
Meanwhile, be assured that it’s not an either/or situation: you may be gay, but you’re also as much of a man as anyone else. (I heard a ************ tell a heckler once that “she” was more woman than he’d ever have, and more man than he’d ever be!)
And remember that it’s part of adolescence to learn to stand up to your parents and not be dependent on them for support or for approval. Your time will come.
Your parents are going to love you no matter what. They might call you names or give you a hard time, but inside they really care a lot about you, they just dont know how to cope with certain things in life. Sometimes people can only do the best they can with the light they have.
You will be alright no matter what they, or anyone else thinks. Try not to give your parents so much power over your emotions, and elevate your mind to a higher perspective. Understand that you are someone of a more educated and accepting generation, and that things are changing for a reason, for a more positive future.
I know it’s tough having to be so strong at such a young age, but it will pay off when you are that beacon of light for that child swinging on the playground who is going to need your strength and courage to fight away the things that will make him affraid to be who he is.
Dont be affraid of life, or what will come as a result of you inviting your parents to be a part of your truth. Love will take care of you, and I promise that you have angels looking out for you.
Just ask for their help (be specific!) and it will all be alright. Good luck!
Ugh. I feel badly that they don’t even have language to talk about it, but instead use names like “queer” and “woman”. Did your dad ask you in an angry or challenging voice, or was he really trying to learn?
It must hurt to be afraid of getting negative responses to your honest affections.
Is there anyone else in your family or family friends who are ***? Or is there a counselor through your school who could help? Or your doctor perhaps?
PFLAG (Parents and Friends of ******** and Gays) is a good organization that might be able to help you.
Take your time in coming out. But when you do, make sure you have friends supporting you in that time, and people ready to take you in to their home if you need that. But even though they might be upset at first, I have hope that your parents will eventually come around. Surely they must love you, their son.
dont tell them let them find out
I think they already know you are ***.