So…Me and my boyfriend of almost 3 years is leaving, me and him have had a ROCKY road, but have managed to make it this far. We have broken up in that time for a period of 8 months realized we still cared for each other, got close again and got back together. Its been 10 months since then.
He is leaving to Costa Rica for 3 months and then traveling to Peru and Panama for another 2 months, on a surf extravaganza.
He has had this planned since August of 2008.
We both agreed that when he leaves we are ending the relationship, he doesn’t want me waiting for him and I don’t want to wait/put my life on hold. We both don’t know what’s going to happen when he gets back. if we will be together or not.
He leaves the 28th of this month (February)
This past month has been horrible.
All of the sudden he is angry at me for everything. And I mean my very existence in his life makes him angry.
Things like calling to say goodnight, he thinks I’m checking up on him,
Putting a bowl away in the wrong place, makes me disrespectful.
I was having a trouble with my boss, who happens to be his mother, he was helping both of us cope with the defining lines in the working relationship and then gets mad at me like he’s piggy backing me and how I am not cooperating and basically put the whole issue on me.
Me and him have had the same argument many times. He always thinks I’m Naive or depend on him. Can’t live without him. He thinks he’s responsible for my happieness. etc
Just this last Tues he invited me to hang out with a group of mutual friends. (Well call this the JLo’s)
He had left to go play the drums at another friends house (Well call him Mac) and was going to come back.
Me and Jlo’s were hungry and thinking about ordering a pizza, so I called my boyfriend to see what he wanted to eat. After I got his order he said he was on his way back and was leaving Mac’s (who lives down the street from his house), and was going home to change real quick.
Well 45 minutes later everyone was asking me where my Boyfriend was, so I texted him. (Now the Jlo’s house and my boyfriends house is literally a 3 minute drive at the most)
He never responded I waited 10 minutes and called him, he picked up and said im outside right now ill be there in a second.
He came in and was acting funny to me. I had one of my best friend 9 month old baby sleeping on me and I was playing a game on my cell phone and my boyfriend asked me what I was doing “I said playing a game” he told me “Your boring”. I let this slide bc I wasn’t about to act like a 10 year old.
Later on in the night we were going to take the party to another persons house. I had been talking to one of the girls that lives there all night about it.
My boyfriend decided he wanted to go and came up to me to tell me he was going to go up ti the other party and I said cool I’ve been talking to so and so about it but I cant stay the night bc I have to work tomorrow so I’m going to drive. He basically got super upset at me and said he didn’t want me to go and that’s not what he was hinting at,
Well the night ended up this dramatic thing.
He says I’m ruining his last few days here
I’m smothering him
Basically me and my existence sucks
We haven’t spoken since.
We aren’t together anymore
I see him every day due to work.
Then yesterday he came in the office and ignored me
When he left he said a general goodbye to everyone. And I didn’t say anything back
He texted me saying “that goodbye was directed at you to”
I said “sorry….Bye, it just didn’t feel natural”
10 minutes later I called him thinking maybe he was ready to say sorry and talk about what happened but instead he cut me off and said that he didn’t want to talk, no conclusion was going to be made of it. He said he doesn’t like feeling angry
I just said ok well when you’re ready to talk you can call me.
And left it at that…
I didn’t want to say goodbye to him this way. He wanted me to come down and visit him in Costa Rica and talked so excited about keeping in touch with me and so on.
All the sudden it’s a complete 180, he doesn’t speak to me he’s angry at everything I do or say. And every time I’ve tried to conform to him and he just finds something else to attack at. AND it all is petty stuff. I just wanted to say goodbye on a happy note in the hopes that things will be comfortable when he gets back and while he’s gone and just all these things.
I don’t care that we broke up. It was going to happen anyways in a week and I was prepared for it. It just hurts that he’s choosing to make things this way.
I planned a huge goodbye party for him tomorrow and everyone tells me to go anyways, and to say goodbye to him the way I wanted to and let him be the way he wants.
I feel like he is trying to push me away. And when we had are big blow up I mentioned it to him because I can’t find any other reason for him to be angry at me all the time.
He just said ”you just ma
de the assumption that I’m pushing you away for my trip. You have no f-ing clue what I’m doing”….what does that mean??he says we have been fighting to much recently. But I’m not fighting him. Or angry at him for anything. I’ve been understanding and composed myself the best possible but this is just tearing me apart. Why could he have been happy this last month and just said a nice goodbye